Managing Difficult Clients in your Massage Therapy Practice

Managing Difficult Clients in your Massage Therapy Practice

Understanding and Navigating Difficult Clients

Content:

1 - Training ground
2 - What is happening and why?
3 - How does it manifest in therapeutic contexts?
4 - Mindsets involved - theirs & yours
5 - Strategies for dealing with difficult situations

As a therapist you will most likely have clients who challenge your patience, skills and even your confidence at some point in your practice. At times, these difficult situations might leave you questioning their root causes. What is going on here? Why is this happening, to me, despite appearing to be doing everything right?

You may feel unsettled and discouraged especially if you are starting your new career. You may also question whether you even want to continue working with certain clients but perhaps feel trapped as clients represent income. You may be unaware of your own role in this therapist/client dynamic and how these moments can also offer powerful lessons if approached with the right mindset.

This blog explores some of the reasons behind difficult client behaviours, how they manifest in therapeutic settings and how you as a practitioner can manage them while maintaining your professional integrity and personal well-being.

Find out what is potentially behind the scene of the “WHY” there are difficult clients or God forbid, WHY are we even attracting those people in our practice and what to do about it.

understanding difficult clients

1 - Training ground

Yes this is your own personal development training, not just a business that you are running. I would like to offer you my perspective on what is often at play when you encounter difficult situations to manage based on 40 years spent in practice running massage, chiropractic, coaching and hypnotherapy clinics.

2 - What is happening and why?
Understanding why certain clients behave in difficult ways is essential for navigating these challenges. The causes often have little to do with you personally and more to do with what they brings into the therapeutic space. This is where your understanding of boundaries, a little psychology theory and solid clinic “house rules" come to your rescue.

- Fear of Change:Manual therapy naturally is about both physical and emotional shifts.
For some clients these changes can feel unsettling. Chronic pain, for instance, often becomes a part of a person’s identity and while they may consciously want relief, subconsciously they fear “who” they might become without that pain and all the associated behaviours, support, empathy or love from others that come with it. It can be an extraordinarily painful process to disentangle from long periods of neurological programming, hence some potential and natural resistance to change is but natural.

- Emotional Baggage: This is linked to the above category, clients often carry unresolved emotions linked to their physical ailments. For example, stress, grief or traumas can manifest as muscle tension, chronic conditions, headaches, poor postures etc. Whenever various body parts are worked on it may connect to these deeper emotional layers triggering unexpected reactions such as anger, sadness, or even withdrawal which are expressed during the session and maybe directed towards you. You may have heard “issues in the tissues” expression and nothing can be more true.

- Unrealistic Expectations: Some clients expect miracles, that’s a fact! They might come to your practice believing a ‘single session wonder’ which would erase years of discomfort or tension. Although it may happen, in my experience, it’s not the norm. When their expectations aren’t met, they may become critical or even dismissive of your expertise. Now, living in a “review obsessed” world it may not be great news for your Google ranking or other social media platforms. This may naturally create a lot of pressure on you to “perform” and this is precisely where what you say to your new client, right at the first session is vitally important to set the scene of how you work and what they can expect from the treatment plan.

3 - How does it manifest in therapeutic contexts?
Difficult behaviours may not be apparent at the outset. Here are some ways they may show up in your practice as you progress with your sessions: 

a. Resistance to relaxation:a client may find it hard to let go during a session. They might hold their breath, tighten their muscles or constantly shift their position on the table. This resistance often stems from an inability to trust the process—or you even.

b. Chronic complaints:some clients never seem satisfied. They might comment about the room temperature, the music, the pressure of your touch or even the smell of the massage oil etc... While feedback is important, excessive criticism can feel demoralising.

c. Inconsistency in engagement:clients who frequently cancel or reschedule appointments, arrive late or fail to follow through on homework exercises (such as stretches or posture adjustments, diet etc...) can disrupt your workflow and hinder their own healing process. Again a clear setting out of clinic policies and your work philosophy explained for optimum results will be saving you stress and time and above all allow you to enjoy your work.

d. Emotional responses: they can arise unexpectedly during a session. Knowing how to handle them will give you the edge as a practitioner being able to work in a more holistic way. Many bodyworkers separate body and mind and feel uncomfortable when presented with emotional releases from past traumas or stresses for example. If you are unprepared or untrained in this area it may feel very awkward and disempowering.

Some basic therapy information will go along way in dealing with such situations and you will also recognise when to refer on if the problem is beyond your professional or skill remit.

e. Ignoring boundaries:some clients overstep professional boundaries, taking excessive time or attention even though the session may be over, they may show a disregard for your policies and generally not display courteous or respectful behaviours.

4 - The Mindsets Involved
Understanding both your mindset and the client’s perspective during challenging moments can help you navigate them more effectively.

mindset


Your mindset: as a therapist, you want to help, heal and make a positive impact, have a thriving practice and earn a good living. However, from time to time, you will be dealing with difficult/awkward clients which can trigger negative feelings in you such as frustration, inadequacy, annoyance or even resentment.

These emotions might be stemming from:

• Personal triggers: a client’s behaviour may unknowingly tap into your own insecurities or unresolved issues.

• Fatigue:dealing with difficult clients can be draining, especially if you’re already stressed or overworked.

• Your unrealistic expectations of yourself:believing that you must "fix" every client can create unnecessary pressure adding to your stress levels and potential burnout.

Therapists are human too and your reactions/response to ‘difficult clients’ may reveal areas for self-reflection and growth.

Do you want to be treating them?

This is a critical question to ask yourself when faced with a difficult client. Not every client will align with your practice or values, and that’s ok. You just need to work out what they are. What makes you book them again, knowing the above? You might want to take this opportunity to be honest with yourself and see if there are any internal conflicts at play here. Perhaps because your numbers are low or because you have financial pressures or for other reasons which may lie deeply in your unconscious such as not being able to say no, wanting to please others, being afraid of failure, thinking you can succeed where others haven’t? Does working with this client leave you feeling energised or drained?

Who Are You Attracting?

The types of clients you attract often reflect the energy and image you project as well as the information you put out there.

Clarity of your Brand
• Focus on areas of massage therapy that genuinely interest and energise you.

• Be clear about your philosophy

• Becoming stronger at enforcing policies especially around cancellations, payments and
boundaries help attract respectful clients.

Their mindset: your clients’ behaviours are often rooted in their internal struggles.

Common mental states might include:

• Unconscious resistance:change is hard, even when it’s positive. Clients may cling to their current state because it feels familiar and safe.

• Fear of accountability:taking ownership of one’s healing journey can be daunting,  especially if it involves lifestyle changes.

• Low self-worth or self-limiting beliefs:some clients may not believe they deserve to feel better, leading to self-sabotaging behaviours.

Unconscious resistance: a barrier to healing

Resistance often operates under the radar, making it hard for clients to recognise or articulate them.

Some signs of resistance
• Hesitation to schedule follow-ups.
• Avoiding discussions about progress or setbacks.
• Downplaying their pain or overemphasising it as unchangeable.
• Ignoring post-treatment advice.
• Overexerting themselves after a session, undoing your work.
• Discontinuing treatment just as progress begins.
• Cancelling at the last minute with all sorts of excuses:
(the washing machine has broken down, I have double booked myself, I have a cold
coming on ...)

How to help your clients:
As a therapist, you may look at how to gently guide them toward recognising and overcoming these sabotaging unconscious patterns and to also know when to step back, very important!

• Empathy first:acknowledge their feelings without judgment.
• Education: help them understand the healing process and their role in it.
• Explain how the body works, simply and how all the different parts are connected.
• Celebrate incremental progress to build their confidence.
• Offer consistent encouragement

how to help


5 - Strategies for Managing Difficult Clients

Dealing with difficult clients doesn’t have to drain you. Here are a few practical strategies to maintain your professionalism and well-being:

a. Set clear boundaries: Clearly communicate your policies around cancellations, payments, and expectations. Consistency is key to ensuring clients respect your time and effort.

b. Keep communication open: Listen actively to their concerns and frustrations. Sometimes, feeling heard is enough to defuse tension.

c. Practice compassion: Recognise that their behaviour is likely a reflection of their struggles, not a personal attack.

d. Know when to say no: If a client continually disrespects your boundaries or disrupts your practice, it’s ok to let them go. Refer them to another practitioner if needed.

e. Prioritise self-care: Protect your energy by taking breaks, seeking peer support and engaging in activities that recharge you.

Steps for Self-Care
• Seek supervision or mentorship:discussing your experiences with a mentor or peer can
provide valuable insights.

• Prioritise self-care:regular exercises, mindfulness practices, meditation, healthy foods and proper rest can improve your resilience.

• Continue learning:attend workshops or read about communication skills, boundaries, and managing client relationships.

About the Author

My name is Patrick Deguara and during the many decades as a practitioner working in the complementary medicine field I have drawn from a variety of skills and techniques to help my clients move away from “Crisis” and towards preventative care and long term wellness. Starting my career as a massage practitioner in the 80’s I then trained as a chiropractor to give me a broader understanding of the body mechanics. My interest in integrating the body and the mind then lead me to train as a Life coach and as a hypnotherapist, this was a game changer in my approach to work as it gave me powerful tools first to learn about the different facets of communication especially in a clinical environment. It then gave me a deeper insight into the world of the unconscious part of ourselves often hidden in the physical body. I have now retired from my bodywork practices and would like to pass on the valuable knowledge I have gained as I myself benefitted from the expertise of other professionals along the way. If you would like to pick my brain further, I can be contacted at the following: m: 07970 412 647 e: ibanez61@icloud.com


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