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Tales from the Table - Footwear Faux Pas!

November 19, 2020 4 min read


Tales from the Table - Footwear Faux Pas!

We are really pleased to launch Tales from the Table written by Sports and Holistic Massage and Reflexology Practitioner Andrew Stevenson! Tales from the Table are short stories designed to be a little pick me up! To make you smile, chuckle or ponder the crazy world of working in massage therapy!

You can learn a little more about Andrew at the bottom of this post but let's jump in to the first edition where Andrew shares a tale of working as a pitch side therapist and how a poor choice of footwear almost had catastrophic consequences! 

So let's begin! 

Dark blue background with a white speech bubble with the text - over to Andrew!

I have always been involved with sport when I was younger as a player and in later life with the jobs I had. 

However I need to start this story with a disclaimer. I am not a qualified physiotherapist, language has changed over the years and in my day they were called Trainers.

Back in the day when football was played in all weathers, I was playing in a game in mid February. The temperature was below zero and it was snowing hard when I received a hard tackle of a player who racked his studs up the inside of my thigh to my groin.

As I lay on the frozen ground in agony and bleeding, the trainer ran on to the pitch, put down the bucket he was carrying and punched through the ice to get to a sponge that bobbed inside. 

Seeing this and knowing the part of the body he was going to apply this to, I jumped up absolutely fine! From here we get the saying “Magic Sponge”

But I digress. 

Later I was working as the club “physio” for a semi professional football team. It was a warmish September afternoon but the clouds were building.

It was a bit of a grudge match against our arch rivals and tackles had been going in hard all day.

In my opinion the referee could only see one colour and needed his eyes tested! I had made my displeasure known to him several times and had received a warning for my impassioned pleas, but fortunately for me the “physio” according to the laws of the game can not be sent off. 

With five minutes to go the heavens opened and a heavy downpour was accompanied by the boom of distant thunder. 

The clock ticked down and we were in added time defending a 1-0 lead and they were throwing everything at us including a very heavy tackle leaving one of our players on the floor.

The referee was standing over the injured player and signalled for the “physio” to come on. 

I ran on to the pitch which was now very slippery. As I got to them I tried to stop but I was wearing trainers and my feet slid out from under me and sent me crashing into the back of the referees legs. 

He flew up into the air. His foot connected with the captain of the other team's face, he in turn landed heavily on top of the injured player causing him to yell out in more pain.

This then escalated into a pushing and shoving match between the two teams. 

The two assistant referees managed to bring the situation back under control but the referee could not continue.

The game finished with us winning 1-0.

A few days after the game I was charged by the F.A. for violent conduct towards a match official. The charges were dropped on the statements of the assistant referees report who explained it was just an accident with no intent. But I learnt a valuable lesson from my footwear faux pas! When working as a therapist or physio choosing the correct footwear can save you a lot of hassle!


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Tales from the Table is written by Andrew Stevenson - Sports and Holistic Massage and Reflexology Practitioner (Husband, Dad, Granddad, Chief cook and Bottle Washer) 

Andrew Stevenson Sports and Holistic Massage

I started my working life as an Engineer in the armed forces and I have spent many years participating in a wide range of sports at high levels both locally, nationally and internationally. My body was always in good condition and everyone called me “Peter Pan” as I was always up for a new challenge. However as my age increased so did the injuries, the severity and the recovery times. It was recommended by a friend that I try reflexology and massage to be honest I was very sceptical to point where I said “if jabbing things in your feet makes you better I will just walk around outside on the gravel with no shoes on and save myself a few quid”

My life changed in my 30’s when I had a particularly bad back injury and was given a choice to give up playing sport (Football as a goalkeeper) or give up walking. Having two young children at the time I can still remember my wife’s words "I can’t push the children around in the pushchair and you in a wheelchair so no more football"

At that point I thought my life was over and the world was going to end.

So I tried both reflexology and going for a massage. The older one amongst us will remember the old advert at Christmas for Remington shavers. “I was so impressed I bought the company”. I found the benefits astonishing not only to my physical wellbeing but also my mental wellbeing so in 2005 I qualified as a reflexologist and massage therapist through the AoR (Association of Reflexologists) and started my journey of helping others, working with clients, local sports teams and professional athletes.  

Since qualifying as a therapist I have become a qualified football coach, manager, and club “physio” only retiring from the game in 2020. I have driven rally cars, played cricket and still play golf and compete at both field and target archery. My experiences have taught me first hand to always remember the body is just like any other piece of machinery - if it is not properly maintained then it will fail!

You can follow Andrew on Twitter here! 

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